Romantic relationships come and go, but most friendships endure the test of time. That is why it is so difficult for people to end a toxic friendship … they expect the relationship to continue, and accepting that it is causing more harm than good is a difficult pill to swallow.

It’s common that romantic relationships end every day … that’s life. Friendships, however, are generally much stronger. After knowing someone for a number of years, you may even consider them to be as close as some of your family members.

Still, that does not mean that you have to stay friends with someone for your entire life, particularly if the friendship is not good for you emotionally. Just this year, I had to cut two friends out of my life. I struggled with the decisions, but in the end, they were the right choices for me.

There are several signs that can help you recognize when a friendship needs to end.

Your friend is using you.
It is not uncommon to be out of contact with a friend for a certain period of time. After all, life does get busy. However, there are some individuals that only call or contact you in order to get something from you.

For example, perhaps they need money and know that you can float them a loan. Or, perhaps they need a recommendation for a new job they are hoping to secure. Maybe they just want a listening ear because they are going through a hard time in their life. Regardless, this friend is someone you hear from only when they need you. They are not available to listen to your worries or to just have fun with.

A good friendship is about give and take. If you are the only one giving, something is not right about the relationship. Think about whether you truly need this person in your life. If they are not there for you, you may need to move on.

Your friend gossips about you.
Gossiping is a fairly common occurrence. If you are honest with yourself, you know you’ve probably gossiped about your friends before as well. However, the type of information being shared is crucial here. There are certain tidbits about a person’s life that are not very personal and that they probably do not mind being shared. However, there are other pieces of information that they certainly would not want getting out.

If you have a friend that shares your deepest, darkest secrets with anyone that will listen, they are not truly being a friend to you. The Internet, in many ways, makes things worse. There are so many ways to share information now, including through email and on social media sites. Before you know it, a personal piece of information about you could be disseminated among the masses.

I have heard horror stories of personal information appearing on blogs and on social media sites. A friend of a friend used her blog as a sounding board to say a lot of negative things about her ex-boyfriend. This was someone that she was supposedly still friends with. She did not put his name up, but she included a lot of identifying information. Therefore, it was not difficult to guess who she was talking about.

That is not a friendly behavior. In many cases, it is simply a way for the person to try and feel better about themselves. And, if that is what the person is doing, they are not really your friend at all.

If you think someone is trying to get personal information out of you, consider whether you might be setting yourself up for disaster. One sure sign is that the individual wants to know all about you but does not want to share any personal details about himself or herself.

Your friend refuses to accept reality
No one is perfect. There are times that your friend may say or do something inappropriate. They may even engage in dangerous behavior. As their friend, it is your responsibility to talk to them about these negative choices. However, there are some people that cannot handle criticism, even if it is constructive. Obviously, it is important not to be an overbearing presence in someone elses life. However, there will be times that it is important for you to speak up, and a good friend is willing to listen.

It may be difficult for them to hear what you have to say, but a reasonable individual will thank you for it in the end. After all, friendships are not just about providing someone with constant support and admiration. They are also about making the tough choice to speak up when you need to.

It is not fun to let a friend go. Cutting off a relationship that you have had for many years hurts. However, just like you would not continue to date someone that was a negative force in your life, you should not continue to be friends with another person that brings you down. Surrounding yourself with positive forces is important.

You do not have to make the process of ending a friendship a difficult one. Speak directly and honestly to the person in question. Tell them that you appreciate the time you have spent together, but it is simply better that you move on. Once you do this, you will have more time to devote to the truly good friends that you have.