Throughout my life there are two people within me, struggling to be heard.

We all have regrets in our lives, and feel as though we could be someone different. When you look in the mirror, you see the person you are in the here and now.

But, do you see the person you wish you could be?

Perhaps you look in that mirror and you see the child you once were? You remember being a person filled with love, hope, and sensitivity? Or is the person looking back at you one who is filled with hate, guilt, and hardness?

Challenge yourself for an honest answer!

A few incidents in my life let me experience the effects of grief and loss thoroughly. Usually, we all associate death with grief and loss, however, my experiences showed me there are many types of loss in life. It is part of life and living to lose things that are close to us, and they are not necessarily always living beings. You will find that as you choose larger goals in life, other goals will have to be left behind. In my life there have been things (jobs, opportunities, etc.) I loved, but left to pursue bigger goals.

It is very important to let go of the past, in order for the future to meet me. How many times have you let a relationship end, in order to let a new love into your life? There are many times that the losses you feel, carry on into other areas and people in your life. For example, the loss of a job will create a sense of loss for you and your entire family.

We typically think of grief and mourning as two of the same feelings. But, they are very separate feelings, and we experience them in multiple ways. Grief is typically a short term feeling that express as a consequence of loss. While the feeling of mourning is taking two parts of ourselves and rejoining them. Think of it as taking the past and future versions of yourself and melding them back together. It is essentially the unification of who we are and who we want to be.

In order to have a sense of freedom and allow for the unification of your two selves, you need strength.

In the past I have done work for strength, but as I have tried to find a unification in my life, I have strived for freedom. In the process of dealing with grief and mourning the two halves that I have discussed, are struggling with each other. In the end, you need to find the balance that enables you to remain strong, but at the same time freeing yourself from the grief you feel.

After thinking about it carefully I came to the conclusion, there are not enough hours in the day to waste on the unexplainable. I don’t have the time in my life to waste energy on the regret and guilt that has filled my past life. There will always be regrets in all of lives, I have no way to go back and change things.

What is the sense to waste precious energy on anything other than love?

Let me talk about lives filled with regrets and guilt. One reason we have regrets in life is because we hold back who we are in life. We are stingy with our love. We don’t give everything we have to the people we care most about. How many of us think we have another day in front of us. We feel as though we have another holiday or another year. Then one day we look in the mirror and see someone we don’t recognize.

The mourning that I feel in my live is the realization that there are fewer days ahead of me as opposed to behind me. I came to understand that there are no more hours, days or even years ahead of me.

Ask yourself: How do you change these feelings of loss, grief, and mourning?

You have to let the love back into your life! Today is the day that you need to forgive someone for a wrong. Today is the day that you pick up the phone and call a long lost friend. You need to mend the regrets that you have in your life starting … today.

Even if you find yourself in a bad relationship, you need to end that! While you may experience grief from doing it, you are opening the possibility of a better love in your life. You will not have the worry about the regrets of staying in a bad relationship to carry with you.

Are you ready to open your heart and soul to a new life? These are the steps I am willing to take today.

  • Stop second guessing yourself and what the universe has in store for you. It is time to receive what you are entitled to. Take the word „No“ out of your vocabulary and live for the day.
  • Take a good long look at yourself. If you were to die tomorrow, is this how you would want to be remembered? Be truthful with yourself. If you are not living up to your true potential, today is the day to change it.
  • Do not think as though you have to forget about your past all together. These are special experiences that have made and shaped you into the person you are today. You need to take these experiences and bring them into the person you want to „be“ today. The regrets and bad decisions you have made in life need to be embraced and loved. They are you and there is no way to remove them from the person you are.
  • If I can offer you one of the most valuable pieces of advice I have learned over the years is:
    Do something you love every single day. If you love to swim, write, dance Salsa or play Basketball … make sure you do them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the time, you need to find the time to do it! These are the activities that make you feel alive. And there is no reason to be on this earth, if you can’t feel alive every single day.

As you open your heart and soul, you will feel the two parts of you become one. Your heart, soul and mind will be more at peace with each other than ever before.

The moment you start living for you and not for the regrets and guilt in your life, is the moment you will truly feel alive!

Live, breathe, be alive.

Picture credit: s58y • Creative Commons Attribution