It’s been a while since New Year suddenly and unexpectedly arrived. Now, more than two months later, I’m still working on making positive changes. It’s a constant progress.

The other day I wrote about being a „Thinker“, and I strongly believe that one of the most effective ways to effect positive changes in all areas of your life, is to make a change to the way in which you think. Get ready to get rid of “stinking thinking“, and get ready to live your best year yet. So, following up on how to be a thinker, I’d like to add some thoughts on how I’ve changed my way of thinking:

Stop Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing is a process of going from slight worry to feeling as if all hope is lost in a short time. Get rid of this source of anxiety, hopelessness and fear. Stop exaggerating each little mistake or mishap into something big and powerful. Some ways to keep from catastrophizing include asking yourself if this issue will matter in five years, next year or a month from now. Try practicing reacting only to the facts of the issue, not your fears or presumptions about it. Finally, remind yourself of other instances where you thought the worst and things wound up resolving themselves in a positive manner.

Stay Away From Generalizations
Generalizing is a process of thought where one thing is the benchmark for everything else like it in life. You have a bad experience in a relationship and assume all men, or women, are cheaters. Do not make such assumptions. Take each experience in life for what it is, and give each situation or person a fair chance.

The World Revolves Around Me
In all actuality, this is impossible since there are plenty of other people on the planet, most of whom are more concerned about how they look to others than about how you come across to them. Try not to overreact when you mistake another person’s reaction personally. If a person makes you feel insecure, at fault or guilty you must understand that it likely has more to do with that person’s insecurities than anything you actually did wrong.

Negative Filtering
When you focus on the negative aspects of any situation, you fail to notice the positive aspects. Rarely is any situation completely negative. There are positive aspects to the not-so-positive events that occur in our lives, just as there are often trade-offs or compromises that must come with a seemingly very positive event such as the birth of a child or a lottery win. It is all right to be honest about negative things, but look for the good side of things, too.

Stop „Shoulding“ Yourself!
Shoulding is a process where you obligate or guilt yourself into doing things or maintaining relationships that really do not suit you because you feel pressured into doing so from some outside influence. This can cause depression, or worse, resentment towards someone you really love. Do not disregard any real responsibility you have, but stop committing yourself to things, activities and people that do not honor your deepest sense of self.