Change can be scary and painful, that’s why many people stick with the status quo. It’s much easier to remain the same and keep on going like you’ve always done.
People stick with what they know. They remain in jobs that don’t fulfill them. They stay in relationships that lack love. They live in spaces that don’t feel like home. They allow their lives to remain in limbo because they are afraid to experience something new. My experience is that fear of the great unknown can paralyze to a high level. It gets even scarier when you have no control over the things in your live that are changing. That’s the reason so many people fear changes in policy, procedure or the economy.
Growing up, most people thought I was a weird kid. I wasn’t part of the cliques at school and unlike most kids, I didn’t really want to fit in. What I wanted, and what I still want, is to be the best Me possible. This is one of the reason I share my thoughts with you on this blog.
I came to this realization about eight months ago. There came a dramatic moment when I realized that by remaining quiet and not using my voice to stand up for myself … I was hurting me. So, I began to change.
I began by talking more. I stood up for myself and learned how to speak my mind. That was difficult. It was hard to find my voice and stand my ground. Unfortunately, it did not lead others to stop teasing me, and my feelings were hurt more often than not. However, I knew that this was the right thing to do. Thinking back I knew it was brave, although socially stupid, but I stuck with it and since that time I have continued to do things like that.
Recently, I was talking to a friend, and he asked about my feelings on change. I’m certain my response helped him to understand me and my feelings, although I initially was hesitant to give a response. To answer the questions, I explained that I felt a connection to butterflies, because they experience a number of changes throughout their lifespan. They begin life as a crawling creature on the ground and in trees, then through some painful and dramatic changes, they become a beautiful being free to fly wherever the wind carries them.
That’s they way I view my life and the changes that occur.
Changes should not be made just for the sake of making a change in your life. Change should be a purposeful, carefully thought out action … one that has the potential to produce something extraordinary and beautiful.
Since I don’t have control of all the changes in my life, I’m learning to adopt a positive attitude about all change. I have to believe that the change being made is right for someone or something in the world, even if it’s not the right thing for me. I have to trust that if I try to make the best of the situation and participate fully, in the end it will be best for me, too. It’s not always easy to do that, and I still experience the same fears, upset, and worry, about the changes I can’t control.
When I feel negative about a change, I remind myself of the butterfly and follow these steps:
I try to take a deep breath. When I inhale, I breathe in the feeling of peace. When I exhale, I breathe out and release the tension in my body and fear.
Then, you need to trust in yourself. Trust that the universe has a plan for you. You may not know what the plan is, but you have to believe that it will be for the best, even if you can’t see it right now. You have to believe that no matter what the outcome is, you can learn and grow from each change, and that is always a good thing.
Give yourself time and space to change. When a butterfly is in the chrysalis (pupa) stage, it is hiding while working on its transformation. You also need time and space to grow and change into the beautiful person you are meant to be.
When going through a change in your life, observe and acknowledge the things you feel and believe. After experiencing those emotions and beliefs, release the negative ones and let them go. Think of this negativity as a leaf or feather floating away from you on the breeze. Be present. Live the moment and suck it all up in you!
Change isn’t something bad, although it may feel so in the beginning. While making a change, you have many reasons to smile. You should be proud of yourself for dealing with a situation that may be uncomfortable or completely out of your control. You’re also growing and learning from these experiences … and in the end, making you a stronger person.
When experiencing change, focus on the things that are going right in your life. Be grateful that there are positive elements in the change. When you do that, you can reduce the amount of fear and worry you have about the future.
Progress is impossible without change, so enjoy the ride … just like I do!
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