Welcome 2015!! It’s time for another 365 days full of challenges and struggles.
Instead of starting 2015 with a dozen of resolutions, this year I decided to start with a sort of „No Shit“-List. In this list you’ll discover how to expand your existence from living, breathing and speaking fire from within, to your power. It’s the „No Shit“-List for your very well being. You’re a being of worth.
You can plant your feet firmly and show your brilliance and be of good service to yourself by following some of these ideas below.
First off, learn to say »No« more often. Let’s face it, everyone wants to be well liked. All of us, at one point in time or another, have said Yes when we really would have preferred to say »Hell no!« Even I am guilty of walking this path. It becomes a trap when you say Yes all of the time. People will begin to take advantage of you and pretty soon you exist solely to please others. You and I need to set healthy boundaries and set them with friends, family, lovers and even strangers.
The truth of the matter is, we even need to set these boundaries with ourselves.
If you’re in a café, for example, and a man (or a woman) asks you to sit with him but you aren’t interested in him at all … do you gently tell him »No«? Or do you do as many of us might do and sit with him?
You need to learn how to gently say »No« because you need some time alone. You may hurt his feelings, but you’ll have saved both your time and his time in the long run by doing so.
When your gut tells you something, you need to listen and honor that intuition within yourself. You need to learn to say »No« gently but firmly and empower yourself.
Your power is important and you alone have the power to make yourself happy.
Next, try to get rid of the things that bother you most and talk with all people involved. It is these moments that urge you to sweep something uncomfortable underneath of your feet. You want to glue those feet down and ignore that feeling. Rip those feet from the floor now. You may shriek in horror but you need to do it. You may feel violated and wounded … and you may hurt others, but you know that it’s in your own best interest to walk away transparently.
Take a deep dive into the ocean of uncomfortableness. Give the mystery of life a French kiss and flash the world your gorgeous vulnerability. Everyone in your life will love you more for being transparent with them.
Open talk about your shame and your guilt. Get those fears out in the open and be aware of them. Soon, you’ll feel relief and you can get on with your life all the richer for your newfound experiences.
Be the Person you want to love. Everyone has their idyllic person they’d like to fall in love with. This year, become that person. Last year, I chose to date women who I admired and that I would learn things from, so I made up a list of what I want in my partner and I was to put myself on that list.
And, what happened … I met my girlfriend soon after I finished the list.
I wrote long and hard about what I wanted and what I loved. I opened up my heart to me and really listened to what it has inside of it. I wrote about dancing, especially learning Salsa, Bachata and Kizomba. It’s funny, but when you become what you want to be with, you can sweep yourself off of your feet. You can become an asset to yourself simply by doing what you admire and love.
Try it!
At times, be angry for yourself. It’s irony but when you’re angry about yourself, you’ll become a more badass version of yourself by simply allowing your emotion to show through.
Stop watching tv and sticking on your phone’s screen … get out and live life and stop letting the screens in your home skew your perspective of life. Our gadgets allow us to tune out the world. Instead, get out and meet others and get back to living a healthy life. You’ll feel better and healthier because you’ll be too busy to veg out in front of the tube and binge on foods that aren’t good for you.
Remember, no one can do it all. This is what I’ve learned badly … learning to accept support. When we carry ourselves alone we are turning that support network away. Learn to accept that support and don’t bear the burdens of life alone. You’re not losing any power when you accept help and say yes. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it’s quite the opposite … you’re showing to be very human.
Think about it: To receive is to give, and then remember that to give is to receive. One doesn’t go without the other, if done correctly.
When you refuse support you’re telling the other person that you don’t need their gift … giving is a gift to someone else. If you’re plotting to refuse gifts you’re actually plotting against yourself. You’re not honoring the other person, so accept gifts with true grace and say »Thank you!«
Enjoy the silence and embrace doing nothing. When I first went to Spain years ago, I was taught the art of doing nothing. From precisely 2 pm until 5 pm, everyone closes down. Why? People take naps, drink some coffee and eat. Perhaps that is why their economy is suffering, but that aside these people really know how to enjoy life. They’ll likely outlive the rest of us.
We need rest and to unravel and decompress and we often find ourselves sick. The reason we get so sick is that we are constantly on the go and not taking care of ourselves. You and I need time to make space for rest and nourishment. When we are sick our bodies are screaming at us to take good care of them. Basically, our body is requesting a time out.
Sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend at the café. Take a nap. Take more naps. Lay in the sun and relax like lizards do. The world will still be there when you wake up.
Last but not least: Never stop Learning! You’ll have a great relationship with others if you’re constantly learning about them. Soak in the knowledge. Take short breaks and seek more information. Drink in the knowledge and know how. Life is full of sweet nectar that you’ve never even tasted. Take time to find that sweet nectar, expand your mind and build yourself up as well as your relationship.
And don’t take any shit … life is too short!
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