Do you know what I’d love? I’d love to live in the kind of world where all of us stop waiting for that mystical time somewhere in the future when we finally do the things we have been craving for so long. I want us to stop saying to ourselves, “I will be happy WHEN.”

When I meet the person of my dreams.
When I have the money to travel.
When I get my dream job.
When I lose ten pounds.
When I get my promotion.
When, when, when.

What about “now” instead of “sometime” or “later.” Not when everything is perfect.
This is your life, right now.

A couple of months ago, right after an important Basketball game against our rivals, I found myself thinking wishfully about the future. Although we played really well, we lost tragically by just one point. And there I was, after the game, not satisfied with my own poor performance, holding my sweat-poured jersey, thinking to myself how much better I would do next time. Yes, next time. All I could think about was “if only I had done better at playing defense“ and “if only I had worked-out harder in the gym.“

If only, if only, if only.

If there ever were two words that I need to absolutely stop saying -immediately- then these words are:

“if only.”

These are just two little words. However, if you aren’t careful they will trap you in a never ending cycle of not being satisfied ever.

It’s true, things could always be different. They could be better. They also could be much worse. However, either way, if you fall into the trap of thinking “if only,” you are never going to get very far in life and truly develop yourself.

Maybe it seems a little strange to focus on these two small words. But, truthful words are everything! Words turn into your reality … how you think, how you talk, the stories you tell yourself about yourself. All of this becomes more and more reality over time.

I’m asking you:

What story would you like to tell?
What life would you like to build for yourself?
What reality would you like to create?

This is my roll call:
If being happy is what you really want, you need to stop saying to yourself how unhappy you are. If you don’t like feeling busy, you need to stop complaining that you are busy all of the time. No matter what, when you say something enough times, it almost always will make it come true. Cut the crap about how healthy you could be if you just had the time. Stop allowing excuses and nonsense from getting in your way. Get rid of the “if onlys” and “whens.” Start developing an improved self-talk vocabulary. No, it won’t be easy. However, it is quite simple.

Stop over complicating things. Figure out what it is that you want. Then own it. When you are saying self-destructive and mean things to yourself, recognize it and stop. Find different words to use.

You can change your whole story, just by taking it … word by word.